Friday, December 13, 2013

We Treat Women Badly

I’m sitting at volleyball practice the other day listening to this douchebag. Not on purpose, mind you. I was trying to get some work done on my laptop since it had been a busy day, but I couldn’t help overhear two parents beside me, and it was very distracting.

“I hate volleyball shorts”

That seems like funny quote for the parent of a volleyball player. This individual proceeded to explain that they’re too tight and how he was embarrassed by a friend’s daughter that answered the door with “cheeks hanging out”. Now he’s not a prude, but he felt like a dirty old man, and worried about his daughter looking like that.

This dickwad then proceeded to explain how women that dress provocatively, showing skin, or shape evidently, aren’t behaving. I heard some kind of quote involving women that “dress like whores” are somehow “asking for it” and get what they deserve.

It became rather hard to write after that, listening to this moron explain how woman are a problem in the world, seemingly in part at least, based on how they dress. This is a college educated, white, middle class engineer. He’s from the South, which somehow didn’t surprised me terribly, but I think these attitudes and thoughts are out there.

Why didn’t I say anything? I have to admit I bit my tongue a few times, ready to argue or comment, but I decided I should not influence the conversation and just listen. Listen and learn how this person sees the world. Learn what rational and arguments this person might respond to based on their own view of the world.

And, I have to say, I was amused. I was saddened and annoyed as well, but I was amused somewhat by the caricature of an open minded person that wasn’t that open minded.

I was reminded of this by a TED talk that popped up on my feed today. It somewhat shows the disparity of how we treat women and men better than I am putting it down, but it’s not different.

We somehow as a culture, in the US at least, think that women control sex, men can’t necessarily control themselves, and sex is somehow dirty. How absolutely fucked up is it that the way a “woman dresses” says anything about her desire for sex? Or her attitude? I certainly understand that some clothing is appropriate or inappropriate in situations and environments, but I’m not sure that it says anything about your desire for, or not for, sex.

How is it that men are somehow not in control of themselves? That’s just fucked up, and if you think you’re not in control of yourself, you’re fucked up. There will be people that can’t control themselves, and you should be careful. However, we have a word for them: criminals.

I now know that I can’t sit in a seat or chat with a couple of parents on my daughter’s volleyball team because they’re complete asswipes. In addition to the wonderful words for women, I was treated to a litany of descriptions about why the poor, the uneducated, and of course, liberals, are some sort of cancers in society that should be removed.

Fucking complete fucktard. So much for my night.

The TED Talk. Worth the watch.

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