You Aren't That Interesting

Fundamentally as I get older, I think more and more men are pigs. There is definitely something wrong with them, as mentioned by Mr. Denny, and in the US at least, there's a Culture of Assholes, from Alan, which I blogged about on my personal site briefly. I'm not sure I can express things as well as those two gentleman above, but I'll try.

First, my apologies for the language, but it expresses things nicely, though not quite as eloquently as I'd like to express it.

What I'd really want to know is who the eff does any man think they are by coming on to a woman, in public, at a professional environment?

Really, dude, you're not that interesting. The women attending the event, the women hosting it, and even those working there aren't looking to you as a future mate or spouse. If they are, they'll let you know, but recognize that you chances are on the low side of the 5 9s. 99.999% of the women you meet don't want to sleep with you.

I'm no saint, and I'm certainly not politically correct. I recognize inherent biases, bigotry, and prejudice in myself. I think I do a pretty good job of controlling it and dealing with it, but I regularly do and say things that are inappropriate or are approaching the line where I offend or insult someone.

And I'm sure I have hurt people at times. I can only apologize and strive to do better.

I've heard numerous jokes about "booth babes" at conferences, woman hired to help attract people to booths because they're attractive, not because they're engineers that can teach you about the product, but because they are "eye candy" for men. Men seem to make up most of the audience at technical events I attend, big and small, and while it makes sense to attract them, I think in a business environment this is an issue. We see or hear something enough, have a few drinks, and somehow think we're more attractive than we are.

I'll bring up an event that I'd glossed over, but I think should be addressed. At the 2008 PASS Summit, on Thursday night, there was a large party in the main auditorium. A band was playing, lots of drinks, games, etc., but near the stage there was a motorcycle set up. You could get on it and get a picture taken, with a scantily clad young lady.

Now I'm OK with men getting up there if they want. Moral standards vary and that's fine. If you can justify that with your significant other, or God, or yourself, then have fun. I have no issue with people that want to live their lives on the looser side. It's their choice, and as long as they accept and deal with the consequences, I'm OK with that.

But I thought it was in poor taste, and more, I thought it was something that would make women uncomfortable. After all, I didn't see a Chippendale-type guy up there taking pictures with girls. If they were there, my apologies, but I still think this display, which was put on by PASS and/or Microsoft, was inappropriate.

Sexual harassment seems like a joke when you see the videos at orientation for your company. Or you have to read a handbook. Or you see it mocked on some TV show.

It's not.

It's a fact of life for many women. It happens all the time, and honestly, they have no recourse. You are cutting your professional throat in many ways if you make a stink. Most men keep their distance and even casual friends pull away.

I think that men are getting more educated about this over time, but it's still a problem. It seems that too many men, married men, men that have been in business a long time, still have trouble getting their minds off sex. And they have even more issues when they drink.

Men, you aren't that interesting no matter how much you drink.

And for those of you that are offended as much as I am. If you witness something, you don't need to "protect the lady", but you should make it clear that you don't condone it.